I want to tell you a story. Some of you know my story, others don’t. I’d like to share a very specific story. The one that led to writing a book. I wrote a book! It is still so new to me!
Anyway, it began this time last year. As a student in Seminary school, I get the opportunity to learn about the history of the church and of God’s Word. It never ceases to amaze me how God took normal people, and used them for His glory! Well, with such wonderful discoveries, there also comes opposition. Another name for that is, religion. Religion has its own sets of rules and interpretation of God’s Word. It keeps people imprisoned and ineffective out of fear of breaking those rules. Thank you Lord for your Holy Spirit to keep us rooted in Relationship with You and not Religion. Back to my story…
I was taking a Pastoral Class. Which I was really excited about. About 2 weeks into the class we were given an assignment where we listed the qualifications for Pastoral ministry according to Scripture. It was encouraging to see how up to that point, my life was a living testimony of Pastoral qualification, or at least that was what I felt based on Scripture. But that was not what I was told.
Once completing my assignment, my instructor informed me that I was misled in my thinking and not qualified. Of course, I thought he was mistaken! But it was the next words he said that shook my very foundation. He told me I was unqualified because, I was a woman. I was shocked! So many thoughts came racing to my mind! Moment like these cause the old you to come knocking at the door of your heart for reentry! I began to become angry. I was offended that in this century, that we as the church of Jesus Christ, are still keeping women from being who God called them to because of their gender. I was infuriated that someone could use Scripture against me. I was now deemed unqualified. I was unaccepted. I was rejected. My identity was called into question. Everything in me begged me to quit and walk away. I didn’t need anyone to tell me who God called me to be. I didn’t need a Seminary education anyway. I began to think of all the people I could call to blast my infuriated mind off at. I texted my spiritual momma. I emailed my mentor. I spoke with my best friends. I even called my husband. But there was one I didn’t take the time to seek, God.
I may not have spoken to the Father, but He sure began to speak to me. You see, God knows our thinking processes. He knows how we each respond to situations. And He still works in that. To draw us to Him. To get our attention. To produce growth in us. The first one to respond to my infuriation was my mentor. In everything he said, one thing he said stood out, “I never quit because someone disagreed with me.” I broke into tears. If I never heard anything from any person I reached out to, it was everything I needed. I was ready to throw away 10 years of my journey, that God placed me on, because of someone not agreeing with me. That moment drove me into the arms of my Father.
I cried and yelled at God. I was so mad for Him letting this happen. But how wonderful that He knew already. He had been waiting the whole time for me to come and rest in Him. The Holy Spirit revealed that I still had some issues with acceptance by others. I had no idea that my identity was rooted in what others thought of me. Honestly, I was shocked! I am not one to care so much about the opinions of others. Except for this one area, my calling as a minister of the Gospel. I’ve allowed the enemy to keep me in an insecure state. He knows our destiny, sometimes better than we do. But because we cannot see ahead, we stay in our comfort zone until it seems comfortable enough to step out. But that isn’t how God has set it up. Faith isn’t about what I see, but rather the One I seek! In Him I find my identity. My degrees are earned, but my destiny was written. My calling was already set before I lived one day. The only things stopping it from being fulfilled is me!
Through this revelation God was showing me that I needed to trust Him, not what others thought. I needed to know who I am in Him regardless of what that may look like to someone else. He brought healing to those areas as I submitted them. He dusted me off and set me back on my path He created. Through the struggle and pain, came hope. A mission to see God’s daughters free from their fear of not being enough. I began the blog Fiercely-Silent. It was a place to pour out all that God was doing in my heart. By the end of the year, I felt Him lead me to step out even further beyond the shore of my journey into the deep. To write a book.
In Pursuit of Purpose became the catalyst for seeing ALL believers become who God has called them to be. To kick fear out the door and submit their whole heart to the Father. It is the beginning of the work that God has done in my own life. It is the evidence that nothing is impossible when we are in unity with our Creator. The journey of book writing is a journey within itself. A story for another time. One that I will tell when the time is right.
I say all this to say, God is always working in our lives. Sometimes, behind the scenes. Other times, right in our face. But we have to be courageous enough to let Him lead us into those scary places. To blaze that trail that no one we know has. To scale that mountain of adversity. To build that house upon the rock even when we don’t see the storm coming. And be completely secure and rooted in Him. What about you? What is God calling you to, but you are running from? I almost gave up everything because of someone disagreeing with me. I almost accepted being labeled disqualified by someone who has no rights to label me that. God is our only labeler. He is our identifier. He sees what no man can see. He sees even what we cannot see. And He loves us beyond measure. Will you walk toward your destiny? Or away. The choice has always been yours. What will your story say about you?
You can find In Pursuit of Purpose on Amazon.com